Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Surreality

Sometimes life is just flat out twisted, and not in a good way.

Personally, I think I wandered into the twilight zone over the weekend, and I'm still wandering trying to figure out how to get back to my normal, boring, sane life. It all started on the DVD aisle at Walmart, early on Saturday morning.

I was just looking through the selection, seeing if anything interesting had been released recently, when I heard a vaguely familiar female voice say my name. I turned to see who it was and was immediately rewarded with a smile from a woman that seemed familiar, but I couldn't put a name with her face to save my life. So I asked her if I knew her, and when she told me her name it fell into place. Her name was K. and she and I had been really good friends for a few years at the end of elementary school and into junior high, and had gotten reacquainted briefly when we went to the same high school for my sophomore year. In my defense, I hadn't seen or heard from her for 15 years now, and those years had been good to her.

So we talked and chit-chatted a bit, and she invited me out to dinner with her so we could finish catching up. I readily agreed and we decided to meet at Applebee's that evening. Now, not even in my wildest dreams did I ever think this was going to be more than two old friends just getting reacquainted. I mean, I never really crushed on K. even in high school, she was uber smart and good looking to boot even then, so I had always viewed her as just flat out of my league. So, in my book, this was not really a date, per se. But boy was I wrong. It was a date, and it was a really, really good date. We had a lot in common and we had a lot of fun. It turns out that she works in IT management in the DC Metro area and was in visiting family and friends for the weekend. I ended up spending the night with her in her hotel room.

Now, that in itself is really out of character for me. I am generally not the kind of guy that sleeps with a woman on the first date, but it happened. And it was very, very nice, especially seeing as I've been celebate since the end of LAST October. When I woke up on Sunday morning, she'd left, but had left me a note saying that she had plans for breakfast with her sister and was spending the day with family, but that she really enjoyed the night and wanted to see me again before she left on Tuesday morning. Now my thoughts were initially of the "yeah, right" variety. The whole thing smacked of a one-night stand, and I was perfectly okay with that. But, since she asked so nicely, I left her a note and my phone number.

So, surprisingly, she called me at about 3 pm that afternoon and asked if I could have dinner with her again on Monday night. Blew my mind completely, and I told her I'd be happy to if I could arrange someone else to keep my son. So I managed to work something out and we made a plan. She went out with family on Sunday night, but called me when she got back to her hotel room, and we talked, just like old friends, for a couple hours. And then we went out to dinner again on Monday night, and yet again I ended up staying the night with her.

Then the other shoe dropped. She gave me her email addy but she made up a rather lame sounding excuse for not giving me her phone number in DC. Now, she had told me she was single, that her fiance had broken off their engagement a week or two before they were supposed to be married this past June or July (I forget which), but I suddenly started having my doubts. I didn't say anything else though, and I didn't push the issue. She was going to email me when she got back to DC and keep in touch. I was okay with that, cause having an actual relationship over that kind of distance would be daunting anyway.

Then when I got out of work yesterday, she'd left me a voicemail, saying that she'd call me around 9:30 last night. By then, I'd talked with a couple of people about it, and gotten 2 distinctly different opinions of what might be going on, so I tried to relax and keep an open mind. But when she called me, things got really complicated.

See, she's not single really. She and the ex-fiance are living together and trying to work things out (not sure how a weekend fling with me fits into that scheme). But she says that she's not sure that its what she wants anymore, she'd like to see me again at some point, but she's also not ready to break things off with him. Now, I'm thinking great, all of a sudden I'm the other guy...again.

Now this is not a situation that I'm a stranger to by any stretch. I've been the other guy before, in fact that's how I ended up with my ex-wife, and look how well that worked out (yes, that's sarcasm). The eerie-ass similarities don't end there though, no, she goes on to tell me that I know her not-ex. He was my best friend during the times when K. and I were friends. But hey, at least M. and I aren't roommates...cause, gee, wouldn't that have been all sorts of awkward. (For those who missed that, when I met my ex-wife, she was dating my best friend who WAS also my roommate at the time. And she and I slept together a few times before he found out and before she broke up with him.)

So here's the surreal little conundrum I'm left with. I like K. I had a lot of fun, and we really connected. She also apparently felt something, cause she broke down into tears when I told her I needed some time to think and sort things through. I felt bad that she cried, but damnit, she lied to me, used me to cheat on a guy I know, a friend of mine; and all I could think about at the time was how I could get used to being with her... There was no way that I could decide anything about the situation right then, and she understood that.

So, the real question now is: What in the nine Hells do I do now? I mean I like K. I think I could grow to love her if I had the chance. We have loads more in common then me and my ex-wife did. But then there's M. and the whole being the "other guy" thing, and the fact that she lives 5 hours away doesn't help either. Plus, I can't exactly pick up the phone and just call her whenever I want, not without screwing the situation up even worse.

Why can't my life ever be easy?

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